Today is a New Day

With my cleaning frenzy this past weekend, my mind turned to making a change within myself. I started to question myself when I sorted through all of the baskets in our linen closet. When we first moved in, I found the best way to corral all of our "stuff" was to line the deep shelves with baskets. The closet definitely looks better than it would without baskets, but the products we had amassed were just overwhelming. We had two and a half baskets (and they're big baskets, people) of cleaning products. TWO AND A HALF!! We had one overflowing basket (seriously--there was a ton of crap stuffed behind the basket) of personal hygiene products.... three baskets of extra linens; three baskets of extra towels; a top shelf loaded to the gills with comforters/quilts/blankets. The scene was obscene. Why the heck had we purchased all of this stuff?? And then it hit me. J didn't purchase any of it. It was all me. Ugh.

Lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed. Not with anything in particular... more like every little thing just feels like it's dragging me down. I've been so bleh that I'm annoying myself. On the drive home, I literally drive myself crazy thinking. I can't sleep. My mind is just spinning. I've got the case of "too much".

J and I had a discussion when we first moved in together 4 years ago. He was helping me move out of the two bedroom place I had lived in alone. I had moved in just when J and I had started dating three years prior. While emptying a closet, he exclaimed, "How deep are these closets?? There's stuff in here that I've never seen before!" The closets were deep, and I was housing crap (yes, it was crap) for more than three years without him even knowing it existed. I had moved crap from 1200 miles away four years prior, and it had never seen the light of day since. I had a problem. Admittedly, most of the items were gifts that had been given to me that I just didn't feel comfortable tossing away. Someone spent their hard-earned money to get them for me! How could I just toss it?! Believe me when I say I would have donated it, but most of it wasn't worth donating. I explained to J that I hadn't grown up with much, so when someone gave me a gift, even if it wasn't "me", I felt like I had to keep it. He thought I was nuts. So, with his help, I started purging. I donated what I could from the closets and trashed the rest. Then, a year later, when we bought our place, he urged me to purge more. I did. But, what happens when you move from 1000 sq. ft to 1700 sq. ft.? I bought more stuff. Now, we come back to the linen closet.

J wasn't home on Saturday when I decided to tackle the linen closet. I had been having the bleh feeling all morning and felt like I had to do something. I'd been so unmotivated and was seriously getting tired of hanging out with myself. I pulled myself away from the computer and started pulling out baskets, one by one. Why did we have all of these cleaning supplies? We don't run a cleaning company, for goodness' sake! I decided we weren't going to buy any more cleaning supplies until the ones we had were used up. I made a list of what we had with quantities next to the product and posted it inside the closet door. When I pulled out the personal hygiene basket, I realized we had nearly three of everything. Again, I posted a list on the door. I noticed three bottles of shampoo that I wasn't a fan of. Too bad, we're gonna use it. No more experimental shopping and then tossing it in the closet. There were several bottles of almost finished cleaning products and personal stuff. I combined bottles when I could. By Monday, we had already used some of the lingering product up, and three baskets of product had become two. Next up, the medicine box. Man, was it scary dumping out all of the expired meds! Now, at least we know what we have and won't buy a third tub of Vaporub! By the time I was finished with those, I just didn't have the energy to tackle the towels and linens... but I promise you that donations and Ebay listings are in the near future.

I have to admit-- now that I've aired the skeletons in my "closet", I'm feeling a bit of that dragging feeling disappear. Today is a new day.