Catching Up

I figured now was as good a time as any to squeeze a post in... considering I've been lying awake for the past 3 1/2 hours.  Funny how you can be exhausted and still not able to sleep.

Things have been quite busy around our house.  With J working crazy hours, I haven't had much time to jump on the computer... and I crash and burn as soon as Finley does lately.  One exciting tidbit-- J and I went on a date night last Saturday!  Okay, so maybe that's just exciting for us.  Seriously.  It was huge.  We got a sitter for the third time ever and went out to celebrate my birthday.  It's been eons since we've really celebrated any birthdays, and since it fell on a weekend this year, I was not passing up the opportunity!  I can see why we don't do it often (as in 3 times in 2 years often!).  The sitter alone cost us $75.  We've decided that we need to make an effort to do it at least once a quarter in order to keep our sanity... or maybe I decided that.  Either way, I'm going to make it happen.

I didn't ask for much for my birthday.  Actually, I only asked for a date night and a new iPod.  I blaze through iPods like they're candy.  After running my last half marathon with my iPhone, I knew it was time to break down and buy something smaller.  Today, my brand new Nano arrived.  I can't wait to start using it.  I had planned to get a Shuffle because it clips on, but I couldn't pass up the (three times as expensive) Nano when I realized it clips on, too, and has radio capability.  Plus, I like being able to have multiple playlists that I can choose from.  If you order from Apple, you can have it engraved.  My first choice was deemed inappropriate.  Oops.  (For inquiring minds, it was the blunt message, "Get off your ***.")  I settled for "Shake your booty".  Which leads me to...

Y'all... I have been to the gym four times this week.  I mean, sweating so hard my vision is blurry.  This is a miracle.  Why am I telling you this?  Because I think that hearing someone else is doing something to get in shape is motivating.  My friend, Cyndi, set a walking goal for August.  She posted pics on Instagram and updates on Facebook.  Every time I saw her posts, I thought, "Why am I not doing something too?"  Goals are good!  So, if you think it's weird that I posted a view of me doing crunches on Instagram, too bad.  It motivates me, and who knows, maybe it motivates someone else, too.  Having someone to be accountable to makes me want to keep it up.  Anyone want to join me in a shape up challenge?  I'm not talking The Biggest Loser-- I'm talking accountability partners.  Who's in?  If you want, check out my workout board on Pinterest.  I also have one for healthy eating. (Don't confuse it with the yum, cake, cookie and dessert boards.  Those are deadly.)  Do any of you have Pinterest boards related to healthy living?  I'd love to know about them!  Do you have songs you love to hear while working out?  I need some new ones and am not up on all of the new stuff.  Leave a comment with your favorites!

Next week, little man and I are traveling to visit my little brother in his new town-- Houston.  Any readers from that area?  I'm very excited for the trip.  Since he graduated, he scored an engineering job there (making more than me straight out of gate!) and just made the move from AR last week.  He asked me to come down to help him pick out furniture.  Decorating with someone else's money-- how could I pass that up?  My mom and step-dad are going to drive down for the visit, as well.  I miss my family so much and cannot wait for this trip!

A couple of days ago, I finally made the effort to start listing some things on Ebay.  This task has been on my list for a year now!  I don't have everything up, but it's a good start.  I have a few West Elm pillows to list still, my huge rubber stamp collection and more shoes.  You'll notice the theme is never worn/used or used once or twice.  Sad, but I'm finally letting go!  I'm even parting ways with three pair of cowboy boots in awesome shape.  If you're a reader and you bid on something, let me know!  I'd love to hear from you.  As I post more items, I'll drop a note here to give you a heads up first.

Now that the sun is up, I'm going to sign off.  I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday weekend!

Snark Much?

Let's see... the past few weeks have been a bit more packed than I had expected.  I had a joint yard sale with friends... one with few visitors and lackluster results.  My BFF's husband was telling visitors that we were his sister wives near the end of the long morning, and I think a few people thought we were weirdos.  On the upside, one of the benefits of having a joint yard sale is that you can usually pawn a bunch of your crap off on your friends.  Holla. 

Post-sale... three mimosas deep.

We had visitors stay the night.  And they weren't family.  I love when this happens!  I don't love when the hubby tells me we're having overnight guests the morning of the visit as I'm walking out the door to go to work, after I've just had said yard sale and the house looks like one you might see on an episode of Hoarders.  No bueno.  Oh, and it was our anniversary.  Wah-wah.  (Insert sound effect here.)  After a little "discussion", I stopped crying like a baby and spruced the house up a bit.  And by sprucing, I mean quickly shoved stuff in closets and drawers and then made them sit in the dark once we got home from dinner.  Friends, this is a far, far cry from where I was pre-babe.  Holy smokes.  You could have licked off my floor back then.  At this point, I just try not to have dirty undies on the laundry room floor.  I'm almost proud of myself.  Almost. 

Finley had another weight check.  I have grown to dread the infamous weight check as much as he does.  He screams the second he sees Nurse Audrey at the doctor's office because he just knows she's going to shoot him up.  Poor girl.  He even had a meltdown when he saw her at the grocery store.  He knows that stripping down and sitting on the scale means shots.  So, the weight check, even though no needles are in the gameplan, is an absolutely terrifying ordeal.  But, I am ecstatic to report that after 3 months of no weight gain, he gained a pound in a month.  Hallelujah!  I could have kissed her when she told me.  So, no more weight checks until his two year well check next month... when he'll also get shots.

Last week, I was a traveling fiend.  Eight states in four days.  I started to wonder what day it was and when I was supposed to eat.  Is it 9 already?  No, it's only 7.  Steak again?  Why not?  The meat sweats never hurt anyone.  It was actually a very informative work trip, just a little too whirlwind for me.  I was slated to hit Mexico next month and then Canada in October, and honestly, I'm a bit thankful that we've put those trips off until next year.  I'm no longer cut out for the nonstop airport hop.  I was really bummed during this trip because I was thisclose to friends and family-- I'm talking in the same freaking city-- and I didn't get to see them.  Lame.  If you follow me on Instagram, you'll notice I amused myself by taking pics of my feet in airports.  Too bad I was already halfway through the trip when I came up with the idea.  I'm sure I lost a few followers last week.

Oh... have I mentioned I went back to the rodeo?  Yes, I think so.  Well, let's just say I'm having major commitment issues.  The countdown has begun.  Only four more shifts until it's over.  Did I mention that summer will be over by then, too?  Ugh.  I've resorted to taking pictures of my feet for entertainment.  (Notice a theme?) 

Day 1-- not yet jaded

Might as well label this "the month of July", aka the month of rain

Rain?  What rain?

I keep reminding myself, "The sun will come out... tomorrow."

It Is What It Is

It is what it is.  This sentence is on repeat with me lately.  When I start to worry about something that I have no control over or about something that is in the past, I remind myself that "it is what it is".  (What's done is done is another phrase I've latched onto.) So, I haven't posted in almost two months even though I said I'd be back soon... it is what it is.  See how that works? I've been debating and debating what to write about and then finally decided that just writing something was a good first step.

When I left you, I was in the throws of family visits.  May was a good month.  June was not.  Spending time with our extended family is awesome.  It's the time afterward that is so hard.  Honestly, I've been in a funk ever since Dad left.  I want more family time!  Thankfully, Fin and I will get a little dose of family time again in September.  My little brother graduated from college back in May and has landed himself a sweet job in Houston.  He makes the move from AR to TX in just under a month and plans to leave his college, ahem, furniture behind.  When he asked me to come for a shopping visit, I couldn't say no.  Spend someone else's money?  I'm in!  I've already been scouting out some items... no doubt driving him crazy with my emails chock full of links.

This week, I'm consumed with yard sale madness.  My friend and I are doing a joint yard sale on Saturday, and I just want to purge, purge, purge.  I've already begun taking over her garage.  During my scouting adventures through my house, I started compiling a list of things I plan to list on eBay.  I'll be sure to clue you all in as soon as I start listing.  Here's a quick list of what I have so far: new/in the package crib bedding, two new/in the package Serena & Lily baby slings, worn once Lucchese boots, worn twice Frye boots, vintage green cowboy boots (seriously fun), new/in the package stamp sets, Michael Kors clogs, Chacos, Pottery Barn birch bark vase sleeves (still in the box!), Polaroid cameras and more.  I desperately need to clean my office, so who knows what else I may find to list.  I also plan to consign our huge sleeper chair from Room and Board (that has been in my office, thus used only a handful of times).  As much as I love it, we just don't have the space for it anymore, so it's time to let go... of it and the fact that I spent a crazy amount for it considering how much it was actually used.  Wah, wah.  It is what it is. Hallelujah for consignment.

It's way past my bedtime, and I don't want to bore you to tears, so I'll sign off for now.  I'll leave you with a couple of my favorite pics from our family session back in May.  Until next time...

My love bug

My awesome spaz-tastic family sans J and my sister

A Year of Recovery

A year ago today, my hometown was rocked by the deadliest tornado in US history.  While a lot has been done in the past year, the road to recovery will be a long one.  I still tear up when I hear and think about the devastation.  I saw it in person six months after that tragic day, and the images are forever seared into my brain.

I watched bits and pieces of the President's speech during last night's high school commencement.  Whether you are a Democrat or a Republican, you would benefit from listening.  A few of his remarks struck a particular chord with me and had me in tears.  He quoted the senior class president when he commented on how the tragedy has brought the community together.  The community is now family with a renewed sense of pride.  When he said that some people may leave Joplin but Joplin will never leave them, I couldn't have agreed more.  No matter where I live Joplin will always be my hometown and will always be close to my heart.  What happened that fateful day a year ago is a reminder to me that life is too short, and the small stuff isn't worth fretting over.

Please take a moment today to remember the 161 community members that lost their lives that tragic day. 

A Case of Disappearing Comments

A quick heads up in case you noticed your comments have disappeared-- I removed Disqus as my comment moderator.  I found that I was getting some comments via Blogger that wouldn't show up and some comments via Disqus, and some people weren't commenting at all because they thought they had to create an account first.  After a little thought, I decided to switch back to Blogger's comment form.  I appreciate all of your comments and hope this will make everything a bit easier.

Thank you so much for all of your comments on my post about being a mother and being me.  Your heartfelt responses were so encouraging and supportive.  I am so very appreciative of those comments and cannot express how much they have warmed my heart.

My Achy Breaky Heart

It happens every time I visit with family.  I spend a good day or two being an absolute wreck.  There's nothing worse than having to say goodbye.  Fin and I had such a great time, and we weren't ready to leave.  The time flew by just a little too fast. 

It was such a happy occasion.  I am so proud of my little brother for getting his engineering degree-- with honors!  We had family photos, and little Fin just ran, and ran, and ran some more.  He didn't take a nap for four days.  Seriously.  He was afraid to waste a single moment! 

When it was time to leave, I found that my heart was so full, yet aching at the same time. I couldn't wait to get home to see J, but all I could think about was how Fin is missing out on time with my parents, my siblings, my niece, missing all of the special moments with family.  How great would it be to see everyone every week?  Leaving was heartbreaking. 

As sad as I am, I'm happy to be home for a little while.  My work trip to Canada has been postponed, and I'm thankful.  My suitcase (and emotions) are getting a little break.

A Few Favorites

We had a wonderful time on our family vacation this year.  The weather was overcast a few days (and even rained one), but it made for a great break from the heat.  Our little one loved the water.  In fact, we're having a little difficulty ending bath time lately due to some "swimming". I foresee many trips to the pool in our future.  Here are a few highlights from our trip.

Signing up for a 1/2 marathon a month in advance = running on vacation

Being a Mother and Being Me

{I'm going to lay some personal things out here, so please don't judge!}

I've written (and deleted) versions of this post many, many times during my blogging hiatus.  No matter how many times I write and rewrite, I just can't get the words out.  Honestly, I think I'm afraid of being misunderstood.  I've already written about how I was having a hard time carving out time for myself.  There's so much more to say, but the words have failed me.

I still have trouble carving out time for myself.  I find myself feeling guilty for wanting that time and guilty for not taking the time.  I know I could be a better mother, a better wife.  I want to be a better mother, a better wife.  I'm struggling with resentment towards my husband, and that makes my heart ache.  He does a lot.  I mean, a lot. He is an amazing father.  But, he gets to have basketball league.  He has skiing.  He has softball.  He has friends.  I know, I do, too... but all of us seem to be in the same boat, not taking the time.

A week before our vacation, J and I had a "discussion". (That sounds nicer than an argument, right?)  It started the same way most of our discussions had over the past two years. (Disclaimer-- we are not constantly fighting, even though that's how the last sentence may make it seem.)  He wanted to know why I was so mad. all. the. time.  The thing is, I'm not mad.  I'm just feeling like I've lost myself. It hurts, and I'm frustrated. It hurts that I can't seem to express what's going on with me no matter how hard I try.  Every time I've tried, we ended up having a discussion.  And that just sucks.  

I feel like I have to add the disclaimer to him that "I love my son more than life itself, but"... and that "but" confuses him.  Why do I need time away?  Don't mothers want to spend time with their children?  Yes, of course!  I just need an hour... can I have an hour, maybe four?

Just writing this makes me want to hug my little bug to pieces because I hate that it may seem like I don't want to be with him.  The thought just breaks my heart.  So, you see, I'm torn.  How do I balance being a mom with being me?  I need to find out how to create a new me with both pieces, and I'm finding that to be a lot harder than I ever imagined.

I hate that these feelings are making me sad. Over the past two weeks, I've been working overtime paying attention to how my mood may affect those around me, and I think it's helping us all be a little happier.  Now, to find that time...

Someone was obsessed with helping mommy weed on Mother's Day

Light as a Feather

An exciting thing happened today that made me feel as light as a feather.  It involved a little of this...

Funny how suddenly being light in the wallet can make you feel so free!

Followed by a little of this.

{Posting is going to be a bit light for a couple of weeks.  I'm back, but only for a couple of days.  We jet off again on Thursday for my little brother's college graduation... back again for a day, then off to Canada for work for four days.  THEN... I should really be back!}

Summer Lovin'

Prepping for our family vacation had me dreaming of sunny weather and blue skies... and fabulous summer clothes.  If only I had an unlimited budget!  (Cue the song by Barenaked Ladies "If I Had a Million Dollars".)  Let's just say I'd be revamping my wardrobe to include these beauties...

Source: jcrew.com via Abbie on Pinterest

Source: freepeople.com via Abbie on Pinterest

Source: jcrew.com via Abbie on Pinterest

Source: net-a-porter.com via Abbie on Pinterest

Source: jcrew.com via Abbie on Pinterest

Source: lillypulitzer.com via Abbie on Pinterest

Source: poppynyc.com via Abbie on Pinterest

I love that Pinterest is introducing me to new lines and shops.  What are your go-to shops for apparel and accessories?